Mediation is a form of conflict resolution where an independent third party, the mediator, guides you and your partner in making agreements about the divorce. Unlike a court procedure, it's not the lawyers or the judge who decide what happens, but you and your partner yourselves. Mediation is increasingly popular in the Netherlands, with an estimated 30 to 40 percent of all divorces now handled through mediation.
Advantages of mediation
The biggest advantage of mediation is that it de-escalates conflict. In legal proceedings, parties stand against each other, which can worsen the conflict. In mediation, you work together toward a solution. This is especially important if you have children, as you need to communicate for years after the divorce. Another major advantage is cost. Mediation typically costs between 2,000 and 4,000 euros total for both parties, compared to 5,000 to 15,000 euros or more for separate lawyers. Mediation is also generally faster: often completed within 3 to 5 sessions.
More advantages: control and customization
In mediation, you determine the outcome yourself. The judge is bound by legal frameworks with limited options for creative solutions. In mediation, you can make customized agreements that fit your specific situation. Additionally, mediation is confidential. What is discussed during sessions stays private, unlike court proceedings which are generally public.
Disadvantages and risks of mediation
Mediation is not suitable for everyone. It requires both parties to be willing to cooperate and compromise. If one party participates in bad faith, distorts facts, or withholds information, mediation can fail and even be harmful. A significant risk is power imbalance. If one partner is dominant and the other submissive, the outcome may disproportionately favor the dominant partner. In situations of domestic violence, psychological abuse, or narcissistic abuse, mediation is generally not suitable.
When is mediation suitable?
Mediation works best when both parties are willing to negotiate, there is no serious power imbalance, domestic violence, or addiction, both parties are honest about their finances, and you are willing to compromise. It's also possible to combine mediation with legal advice: you can keep a lawyer on standby to advise you on your legal position during mediation.
Want to know if mediation is suitable for your situation? Our attorneys are also trained mediators who can honestly advise you on the best approach. Contact us for a free initial consultation.